Transcribed Interview with Vietnam Veteran Charles Freeman Terry
Today is November 8,2004 in Austin, Texas, Cuernavaca out by the lake. I am Will
Grieder; this is Kimberly Bennett and Melissa Valero, and we are here with Mr. Chuck
Terry, a Vietnam veteran, and we are going to interview him today. He was born in
Columbus, Ohio in 1946, and he was a Special Forces Sergeant stationed in the Central
Highlands of Vietnam from 1969 to 1970, and we will now proceed with the interview.
Will: You enlisted in Special Forces; why did you join?
Mr. Terry: Well, I didn't really want to join, but it was time when it was the height of the
Vietnam War and everyone was being drafted. I had come to the end of my university
studies and I got drafted. I went down to the draft board, and is kind of a long and
involved story, but basically what it amounted to was that I ended up with a choice of
being drafted for two years or going into a program OCS (officer candidate program)
where you enlisted and did ten months of training and then served two years. So basically
you served an extra ten months, instead of just two years, but you served as an officer. So
I went in under that umbrella, but right after I got in at basic training they had an
overload of young officers, and they cut the program. So I had already enlisted in the
military but I couldn't get into this program. I didn't want to be a cook or a truck driver
or something like that. I was young and adventurous and I was kind of intrigued by
survival training and all that sort of thing, and jumping out of airplanes and that sort of
thing so I went into the Special Forces. First I had to go to jump school at Fort Benning
and after that it was Special Forces training at Fort Bragg.
Will: I'm going to pause for a second.
Will: What was your opinion of the war before you enlisted?
Mr. Terry: I really didn't have an opinion. I was very a-political. I was basically just a
hedonistic self-observed college kid. I knew the war was going on I mean we all did. I
didn't really want to go into the army or the war, but I didn't really have a particular
opinion about it. It wasn't really until I came back from Vietnam or at least until I went to
Vietnam and saw what it was all about that I formed a pretty strong opinion about it.
Will: In researching the war, Weldon A. Brown's Prelude to Disaster said the purpose of
the Vietnam War was to stop the spread of communism throughout Vietnam; how would
you respond to that statement?
Mr. Terry: Well I think that was the conceptional bases of the war, I think that's what
Johnson, and McNamara, and all those guys had in mind. That was the notion to stop the
domino effect, you know what the domino effect was, and I think there was some validity
to it. Because at the time Indonesia was a huge country about 200 million people and it
was tipping on the edge of revolution, and there was a very strong communist
underground and in Thailand there was a very strong communist underground.
Will: Do you recall your first days in service?
Mr. Terry: First days in Vietnam or in the army?
Will: Just in the army in general.
Mr. Terry: Sure, miserable.
Will: Miserable?
Mr. Terry: Yea.
Will: What did it feel like to be in the army? Did you feel special, did you feel anything
different? Did you feel like a better American, maybe?
Mr. Terry: No.
Will: Nothing at all?
Mr. Terry: No, I mean not many people really went into the army at that point. Not
anyone with any sense would have the idea of saving the world from communism. It was
saber held over your head and you had to do it. And I think most of my generation most
of us believed that eventually we would have to be in the army so it was not that much of
surprise.
Will: Any memorable events or people during your training that you could recall upon?
Mr. Terry: Oh yea, I remember my first night in basic training. You're in these barracks
there about 60 feet long and you got about 100 guys sleeping in there on bunk beds. And
its there first night a lot of them are about 18 or 19 years old, and they cut all our hair off,
and they issued us these horrible uniforms, and boots that didn't fit. It was a pretty
dehumanizing experience. And they turned the lights off and you hear through that room
just one by one boys starting to cry. Not howling but just kind of whimpering and crying.
That was one of the strong moments. In jump school there was a part of jump training
where you when you had thirty or forty foot tower it was a long drop before it would
caught you and then you would roll on down to the end. But it was a pretty good thump at
the bottom and so, one guy in our class actually had, forgive me, but he had one his
testicles crushed, and he had to drop out of training because of it, but it was finny going
through training because (laughing) you're going up on the towers and all these guys you
know going up and making sure they're strapped in all the right places. And then the
special forces training was the most interesting that lasted the Special Forces training
consisted of three different phases: first phase was you know the phase of training when
they really kind of called people out physically emotionally there was probably a 50 to 60
percent drop out rate and it was very difficult. It lasted for two months and the last 10
days of which were a field exercise that was probably the most difficult physical thing
I've ever done.
Will: What type of things did it involve?
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Mr. Terry: They kept us continually on the move, running simulated reconnaissance
patrols and simulated attacks, but it was set up to where you never really had enough
time, and you would always get in at around three o'clock in the morning and have to be
back up again at five, and you also didn't have time to cook any food so about the only
thing you had to eat that whole time was like a couple of handfuls of rice everyday, raw
rice. So people got very very exhausted.
Will: Was it more exhausting mentally or physically?
Mr. Terry: Both, but mainly physically. It was also kind of, there was a psychological
element, because if you got three demerits you were automatically kicked out of Special
Forces, and you got a demerit for having a dirty weapon, or your pants not tucked into
your pants correctly just little stuff, so you were kind of always on edge. There were
several really good guys who were booted out of Special Forces for almost no reason at
all, just the whim of the instructor that was inspecting people at the time.
Will: How prepared did you feel entering Vietnam and combat and all that once you were
finished with training?
Mr. Terry: I think that the training was very good; I mean I think the training was about
as thorough as it could have been, but I don't think any training prepares you for being in
combat until you were there. So I'd have to say yes and no. Yes I was trained well but no
I don't think I was psychologically prepared for war and what the war was all about.
Will: In your manuscript "elephant feathers" you wrote about some relationships with
officers particularly Sergeant Wheeler when did you meet him?
Mr. Terry: I met him when I got to Plei Me he was already at Plei Me, he wasn't an
officer by the way he was a Sergeant.
Will: What was your first impression of him?
Mr. Terry: Of him?
Will: Yea.
Mr. Terry: I thought he was a big mean black guy that could kick my ass if he wanted to,
and he didn't seem to be particularly friendly to me.
Will: How well did you get along with him?
Mr. Terry: Not well.
Will: Not well at all?
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Mr. Terry: Not well at all we almost had a fight; I think I described it in the story, we
almost at one time.
Will: Was that the only time you all had a confrontation?
Mr. Terry: No, we had several others, but that was the most memorable.
Will: Was it because like you said you were a college boy and he hated you for those
reasons?
Mr. Terry: Yea, I think so.
Will: Do you remember arriving in Vietnam?
Mr. Terry: Yea.
Will: How did it feel; what was it like?
Mr. Terry: It was like stepping off an air conditioned plane into a blast furnace, and that
really was the first thing that hit you, and it also has a certain smell. I mean everybody
comes into the airport1 think it was Ben Wang. You step off and there's the smell of jet
fuel and the smell of Vietnamese cooking, but mainly there was just this heat real hot
feeling coming at you.
Will: Upon arrival were you anxious to see combat?
Mr. Terry: No.
Will: After seeing combat what were your feelings of it; did you want to see it again or
did you want to stay as far away from it as you could?
Mr. Terry: I wanted to stay as far away from it as I could.
Will: How often did you find yourself in combat?
Mr. Terry: Well the first five months I was sent almost immediately to Special Forces
camp called Ben Het, which really at the time was the hottest place in Vietnam. It was a
Special Forces camp that was right on the tri-boarder intersection of Laos, Cambodia, and
Vietnam. It was we were under siege at that time, and what that means is that we were
dug into bunkers and we were being shot at continuously with rockets and mortars, so it
was a very very dangerous situation.
Will: How did you adapt to the harsh jungle climate?
Mr. Terry: I don't know actually it wasn't that bad where I was because I was up in the
highlands and that wasn't like being down in the delta. One of the interesting things about
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Vietnam is that there are so many different environments there and people have one
image of Vietnam in there minds depending on where they were or what they've seen or
a lot of people were down in the delta where it was very swampy and all that kind of
thing. I was up in the highlands where it was actually relatively cool at night, and there
were times when the Montanguards soldiers that we worked with would be on patrol at
night or something and temperatures drop down to 75 or 80 degrees and soldiers would
catch pneumonia and die at 75 or 80 degrees. So, the temperature was not that bad where
I was; actually it was probably a more comfortable climate than Austin.
Will: In your manuscript "Elephant Feathers" you talk a lot about your surroundings;
what were some memorable sights?
Mr. Terry: Well, the country side was just gorgeous in general, Vietnam is a beautiful,
beautiful, beautiful country or at least it was. Especially from the air a helicopter you can
see these velvety hills covered with green and long rivers, beautiful flowers it was
gorgeous country it really was. I'm sorry what was the question?
Will: Were there any memorable sights or places that you liked that returned to visit or
that you want to return and visit?
Mr. Terry: You know I want to go back to Vietnam at some point, but if I were to go
back it wouldn't be to go back to revisit where I was because really I spent 99 percent of
my camp in two remote A-camps, that were out in the hills, it wasn't like I was in a city. I
occasionally maybe once every month or so they would send us back to Plei Ku for three
or four days off and we would get drunk. I didn't really have any identification with any
particular geographical place; all I remember is the Central Highlands.
Kim: There were a lot of drugs around. Did they affect your lifestyle or daily schedule?
Terry: Yeah, sure.
Kim: Can you tell us about it.
Terry: Well, I think marijuana was readily available, in Vietnam anywhere, and as a
matter of fact, it was kind of interesting, there was a whole black market in marijuana,
and the Vietnamese, they would steal cartons, big boxes of cigarettes, (indecipherable)
and Winston's and that sort of thing, and they would open them up and they'd steam
open the cellophane, and they'd empty the packets out and they'd empty all the tobacco
out and they'd sell the tobacco on the Vietnamese black market. They'd fill the cigarettes
back up with marijuana and close them up and then they'd dip them in Opium and then
they'd put them back in the pack and then they'd seal them back up in cellophane, and
then they'd put them back in a carton. So you could actually buy a carton like a Winston
carton and it was all wrapped in cellophane and everything. I actually never-I never
actually bought any marijuana while I was there 'cause it was just so readily available,
people around me always had it, but in answer to your question, yea, I mean that was-most
nights when we were in camp-we would never smoke when I was out, you know,
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on a patrol or something. And I wouldn't smoke when we were under siege at Camp Ben
Het, but most nights in Plei Me when our work was over and there was nothing going on,
basically what we'd do two or three of us would go out, sit out there and smoke a joint
and drink a beer and tell stories. So, yea.
Kim: In Shelby Stanton's The Rise and Fall of an American Army, the author cites
soldier fatigue as one of the difficulties U.S. soldiers faced. Is this something you or your
friends experienced?
Terry: Could you say that again, I didn't understand it.
Kim: Soldier fatigue is one of the difficulties that a lot of soldiers faced in the Vietnam
War.
Terry: What is soldier fatigue? Tired of other soldiers?
Kim: Just getting tired of daily life.
Terry: Well sure, well yea, I mean, it's a pretty miserable existence being a soldier
Kim: What was your daily schedule like?
Terry: Well, it really depended, I had-I was really in two primary places. And they
were like night and day, although they were both Special Forces A camps and they were
both in the Central Highlands. One was under constant attack, and the other one was not,
and the one that was under constant attack the day to day life was basically just trying to
stay alive and taking care of what needed to be taken care of, you know, moving the
ammunition around and firing mortars and you now, pulling people off of choppers that
had been shot down, pulling people-wounded people-up to the infirmary. Mainly just
trying to stay down as much as you could. It got to where you could hear something, you
would know if it was a mortar that had gone off or a rocket or an artillery, they had
artillery in caves in the mountains across the border in Laos, and you could actually hear
those things go off, and it got to the point where we were all pretty adept-almost like
dogs-we were adept to being able to identify if it was an artillery shell you had maybe
two seconds to get down, and if it was a rocket you didn't really have any time at all
cause what you heard was the incoming rocket. I'm not sure what was the rest of the
question.
Kim: That's fine. Did you have a specific assignment?
Terry: In that setting, at Ben Het, at the camp that was under siege, there really was not a
specific assignment because we were just under siege; we were all just fighting to try to
stay alive, so what we had been sent there for was to help in basic construction, I mean,
that was the main thing that we were supposed to do, but it was impossible to do any
construction under those circumstances. It was mainly just a matter of helping out the A
team and staying alive.
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Kim: What was the camp like? Was there any kind of fortress?
Terry: That's a good question, the Special Forces A camp was kind of an interesting
place. Different ones. Ben Het was unusual in a sense-they're usually built on a
hilltop, and a typical Special Forces A camp would be on a hilltop and it might be three
or four hundred yards across and surrounded by barbed wire and all kinds of explosive
defenses and that sort of thing. Ben Het was a little bit unusual because it was built on
three hilltops that were right close together, and with a kind of road connection,
connections in between them and so we had a north hill, a west hill, and a main hill. And
they were all-you can't miss it, we were a main hill. All the Americans were on the main
hill and that was where most of the fortifications were but there were Montagnards on the
north and the west hills so it was kind of an unusual thing, but basically, imagine just a
flat dusty hill top with a lot of bunkers, which were just basically holes in the ground
covered over with sand bags for storing ammunition and also for sleeping and living.
And tactical controls, where you had all your radios and all communications equipment.
And hooches, where the Montagnards lived, which were also fortified, but not very
fortified, not nearly as fortified as we were. They were basically just wooden huts with
sand bags on top, but it's not a very pretty place, it's kind of interesting.
Kim: When you entered into the battle at Plei Me, can you describe what you were
feeling?
Terry: Well, there really wasn't a battle at Plei Me. There were battles at Ben Het, the
first camp I went to, and that was pretty terrifying because that was the first thing-I
arrived at Vietnam and I went straight to the Special Forces headquarters on a train for
maybe two days, and then the next day I was out on a helicopter and landing in Ben Het,
and I was getting off the helicopter, we were taking mortar rounds so that was really the
beginning of a pretty intense fight, and yea, it was scary, you know, people were getting
killed every day. Probably on my third day I-it was the first time I ever actually saw-there
was an American helicopter that was hit with a RPG and it had been on kind of a
that had gone over to check out a hilltop that was about five hundred yards away and see
what was there, 'cause they thought they saw some movement. As soon as they started to
land, they got hit with an RPG, (in) we could see it from the camp. The pilot of the
helicopter was able to bring it back and land, and plunked it down there, and then we all
ran out there and pulled them off, and of course we were at the same time taking mortar
rounds on the landing site. So I grabbed this one sergeant, he was actually the-I think
he was the weapons sergeant there at Ben Het, I didn't know him very well, I had known
him for two days, but I and another guy grabbed him and just pulled him over to a ditch
and we looked him over, and he was just sort of peppered with a lot of little, you know,
he didn't have like an arm blown off or anything like that, he just had a lot of small,
shrapnel wounds all over, and he was conscious when we pulled him over there and laid
him down, and I was sitting over him and looking at him and telling him hang on, you'll
be okay, and the medics will be here in just a minute. And one of my most vivid
memories actually of Vietnam was watching him and watching him, looking in his eyes
as he actually died, and watching his spirit go away. It was just kind of powerful thing to
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happen. There's a big difference between looking in alive person's eyes and a dead
person's eyes.
Kim: What were some operations that you were in charge of?
Terry: Well, I was rarely in charge of reconnaissance missions, missions outside of the
camp. That was not my specialty; that would usually be the specialty of the weapons
people who trained with weapons, their specialty is weapons. My specialty was
engineering and ventilation, so if I did go on patrols, and frankly after the first two weeks
at Ben Het, we weren't able to do patrols, because at that time we were surrounded by an
estimated 5,000 Vietnamese, North Vietnamese, which is a lot. We only had about-
Will: How many did you have, I was going to ask you?
Terry: There were, at the maximum there were about 20 Americans and about 400
Vietnam Montagnards, so four or five hundred of us in this camp surrounded by 5,000
North Vietnamese. So after the first couple of weeks, we weren't running any patrols at
all, because you just couldn't go out, I mean, it was senseless to run patrols, they couldn't
even get convoys, driven convoys, heavily armored convoys in from Tin Can, which was
the next town, but they couldn't even get those through so there really wasn't any running
patrols. Most, and while we were at Ben Het, like I said, they weren't really, it was such
a dangerous situation and we were under such constant siege there weren't really any
assigned responsibilities. You were just doing on a day-to-day, moment-to-moment basis
what needed to be done. Later, after we left Plei Me-I mean left Ben Het-we were
transferred to Plei Me four months later, then everything changed. Plei Me, there wasn't
any fighting going around Plei Me to speak of, it was quiet, it was a beautiful
countryside, I think I mentioned it was going almost to a highland jungle resort, it was, it
was funny going in there we were in charge of basically building a new camp and so the
things I was in charge of was being in charge of a team of Montagnard soldiers who
would help us build, basically build a train, we built houses, we built fortifications,
buildings, and bunkers and that sort of thing, so my job was basically I'd usually have
like two or three different teams of Montagnards, 20 per team, and we'd be doing
different things: digging trenches and filling sand bags and putting out demolitions and
that sort of thing.
Kim: Did you have any personal relationships with the Montagnards?
Terry: Yea, there was one guy in particular, I wrote about in the story, he was just a
remarkable guy, I'll never forget him cause he was so-he humbled me because he
was-I came to realize he was actually smarter than I was and certainly much more
courageous than I was and much more fearless and experienced, and he had capabilities
that he had grown up in that environment, and that was all he knew, he was about maybe
21 years old. And he was an interpreter, well he was just a really-a really great guy,
and saved my life a couple of times.
Kim: Can you tell us about one of those experiences?
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Terry: Oh, just, you know, being out on patrol and making sure that when we made
contact, when we had a small firefight, he would always make sure that I would be
surrounded by Montagnards, they'd get me to the back, and they were really a kind of,
sort of an appartide situation in a way, and the Americans were treated with (end of side
A) [respect]. So there was a very, very strong bond between the Americans and the
Montagnards. They were working for us as mercenaries basically.
Kim: Were there any casualties in your unit?
Terry: In my unit? Oh yeah, there were 100% casualties, everybody, I think every
American at Ben Het was wounded at one point, and killed-we didn't have anybody
killed on our five men which was a KB team an engineering and demolitions team, but
the A team, they had probably maybe a dozen guys killed, something like that.
Kim: Were you wounded?
Terry: Yea, I was wounded. I was wounded twice.
Kim: Can you tell us about that?
Terry: One time I was in Ben Het, and there had been a rocket attack, and I was running
back up the hill, and a mortar landed behind me and wounded me lightly in the back.
Another time it was kind of a similar situation. But I was real lucky, the unusual thing,
that people don't quite understand about shrapnel wounds, a shrapnel wound can be
something the size of a pencil lead or it could be something the size of this thing (picks
up a pot) that can take your head off or cut you in half, and you never know, and both
times I was wounded, it was just.. .I was treated there at the infirmary at the A camp, I
wasn't even sent back to Plei Me-I mean Pleiku, rather. But there was another time
when i had early on in Ben Het, we had gone out on a patrol, and I was walking along,
and there was a Montagnard in front of me and a Montagnard behind me, and they
actually saw a mortar round-a mortar round is something that you can't see and usually
it's something you'll drop, they'll drop something in there, and it'll pop out, it'll shoot
straight up and it'll drop down and so there's no sound to it, it just drops like a falling
arrow, and I actually saw, just peripheral vision, I saw this mortar round drop, and it
dropped right between me and the Montagnard in front of me, and it dropped ten feet
away from me maybe, and it blew me off my feet, and it kind of stung me, and it killed
the Montagnard behind me and battered the Montagnard in front of me, but it didn't
much hurt me at all, it just kind of stung me.
Kim: You were awarded the Purple Heart and the Combat Infantry Badge and the
Vietnamese Cross Gallantry with Palm. How did you get all those?
Terry: Purple Heart you get when you're wounded in combat, that's what the Purple
Heart is, so if you're ever wounded under fire, you get a Purple Heart. A Combat
Infantry Badge is shows that you were in combat under hostile fire so you get that
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automatically, and the Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry, that was a Vietnamese award, it
was actually given to us by the president of Vietnam at the time it was president to come
out to Ben Het after the siege had kind of ended and gave several of us, maybe 15 of us,
15 Americans received the Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry, and they pinned it on us and
everything. It was just a gesture on behalf of the Vietnamese government, a gesture of
appreciation. The soldiers that were-the American soldiers-that were there at the time
i think it's probably kind of the equivalent of the American Bronze Star, but I don't really
know cause they never really explained it to us.
Kim: How did you stay in touch with your family?
Terry: We had mail, it would come almost every day, especially at Plei Me, the quiet
camp, every day we had a helicopter-at least every other day-a helicopter coming in
bringing mail and taking mail out and bringing food in, bringing booze in. That wasn't
the case at Ben Het, which was hot. There it was very-it was just too dangerous to get in
and out, they would have to drop supplies to us by parachute. So I want you to
understand when I talk to you about there are really two completely different
environments. One was hot and one was not, and the one that was Plei Me, the one that
was not, which is the place that I most identify with, it was just a regular kind of a daily
routine, I'd get letters-probably three letters a week-from my girlfriend, and she'd
send me little tapes that I could play, and we'd write letters and all the mail was free, you
just put the address on it-and I think the mail to us in Vietnam was free, I think anybody
writing to a soldier in Vietnam didn't have to put a stamp on it or anything, they just
threw it in the mail and it got to us.
Kim: What did your family think about your involvement in the war?
Terry: Well, they were scared, of course. I think my father was probable proud of me,
my mother was terrified. And my girlfriend was terrified.
Kim: How did you feel when you had to leave the Montagnards when you left?
Terry: Well, of course when I left, my overwhelming feeling was just relief and
happiness to get out of there and get home, but it was afterwards after I got home, and got
repositioned in America, that I really began to feel anguish about leaving them behind,
and I think most all Special Forces soldiers did, there was a real strong bond between
Special Forces soldiers and the Montagnards. Apparently there are still Special Forces
soldiers that maintain, and there are few remnants of Montagnard culture up in the
Highlands in Southeast Asia and they try to go visit them and take them things and there
have also been Montagnards brought back here to America, but I think for the most part
their culture got pretty much wiped out. And so there's a feeling of real guilt and
abandonment.
Kim: Did you ever keep in touch?
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Terry: I tried to. I wrote to [my friend] two or three times but never got anything back
from him, I don't know if he got killed, I don't know if he just didn't what to write back
or what. I tried, but then my life just kind of went on and I went back in to graduate
school, and basically I was trying to forget about it.
Melissa: How did people entertain themselves?
Terry: Well, there was no entertainment at Ben Het, that's for sure. It was just staying
alive. At Plei Me, mostly our entertainment was sitting out in the evenings smoking a
joint, talking, drinking a beer, relaxing, having our Montagnard friends gathered around
us just laughing. I mean 'cause there was only three or four of us at the time. For the
other Special Forces, I think I have mentioned enough stories of kind of two separate
societies. The young college aged kids that would be smoking dope and then there would
be the career soldiers, we called them black years, who would be smoking up and
drinking whiskey. The lates and females would play poker and drink whiskey all night.
That sort of thing. So, that was pretty much the extent of entertainment. Urnm, they
would send us home maybe once a week they would send a film out, watch a movie. But
otherwise that was about it. And then probably once a month they would send us back in
one at a time to Plei Ku, which was kind of a medium sized city. But basically just back
to the Special Forces compound in Plei Ku. I never actually, you know went or set back
to Plei Ku probably six or eight times. I never actually went into the city of Plei Ku,
basically just in the special forces compound.
Melissa: Do you recall any specific humorous or unusual events there?
Terry: Humorous or unusual events?
Kim: How about at the picnic?
Terry: Huh?
Kim: The Picnic?
Terry: Yeah, well that was, that was not really humorous, it was certainly an unusual
event. It was, do you want me to describe that? I mean, you've already read it in the
story. But, if you want me to I'll describe it.
Will: Is it word for word in the story?
Terry: Pretty much.
Kim: Is there another event that stands out?
Terry: Humorous event. Gosh there's so many. I remember one time I was, I was coming
back from Plei Me. I had to go in a train, which is special for forces headquarters on the
coast. I had to go back in there and get some sort of paper work done. And I was coming
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back to Plei Me, and I couldn't get directly to Plei Me, I had to get to Plei Me through the
way of Can Tu, which is another Special Forces- what they call a B camp. Kind of a
larger place where they got supplies, where they had bars all that sort of thing. I had
gotten there that night and went to this Special Forces bar and fell in love with this bar
girl. I had gotten a little drunk and fell in love with her, nor really love of course, lust.
Because we didn't, we had absolutely no women around us out of the A camp, except for
the Montagnards, married women. So anyways I had talked to this young women, who
was very pretty, Vietnamese women. I talked to her and well I was there for an hour. And
then the place closed down like at one o'clock or so and I wanted to, you know how
young guys are. So I waited for her afterwards, after this place was closing down and she
came out with some, a couple of her friends. She was just, she was not a prostitute, she
was just a girl twenty years old who worked in this bar. I talked to her for a while,
but by then I was quite drunk So she and I sat there right beside the bar, talking for a few
minutes and well I had to pee. So I said wait here I have to go pee, I'm gonna come right
back. I went running across this open area right beside the bar it was kind of hard to
describe. The next thing I knew, I woke up and I was on the perimeter of the camp in Can
Tu. And a guard was stopping me, saying 'who the hell are you, what are you doing out
here?' I said I don't know, I have no idea. It began to come back to me. You know, I was
talking to this girl. She must have been a VC or something, she must have robbed me or
something-I don't know. So we traced all back and we found her. She was still there,
she was worried. What had happened was that I had ran across this open area. I didn't
know the camp though. There was a, an administrative building over here and the bar was
over here, and there was a cut out, an entry way into the underground portion of this
administrative building. But there were bushes up there that had cast a shadow right
across where this opening was, so what I had done was run across straight into a ditch, it
was about eight feet wide and I hit my head on the other side of the ditch and completely
knocked myself out. I had wandered about a hundred yards before I ever regained
consciousness. Then they finally brought me back and the girl was still there with the
friend. I said what did you do to me and she said you were the one who ran off. You ran
off and never came back. That was not so funny at the time. In retrospect it was a little bit
funny.
Melissa: Did you play any pranks on anybody?
Terry: Pranks.. .? I'm sure I must have but I didn't think about it until right now. I kept
cautious about playing pranks.
Melissa: Did you keep a personal diary?
Terry: No, not really. My personal diary were mainly the letters I wrote to my girlfriend.
It was mainly kind of a matter of energy. You'd be so tired at the end of the day that you
had the energy to write a letter, but that was it. I never really kept a diary.
Melissa: Do you recall the date your service ended?
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Terry: Yeah, I don't remember the exact date, it would have been some time I think in
May of 1970. I'm not accurate, but the records will tell you the exact date.
Melissa: How did you feel, happy?
Terry: Absolutely. I felt overjoyed and exalted. We flew back from Vietnam. Stopped in
strangely enough in Alaska on the way back because of the curve on the globe. We had to
fly to Alaska and Anchorage and then fly down to the fort in Washington. I forgot the
name of the fort. Anyways it was kind of the incoming point from those people going to
Vietnam. And at that time they had a situation where if you returned from Vietnam
within five months or less from your commitment then you were automatically
discharged. Administratively it was cheaper and more efficient for them to just to get rid
of you than try to facture you in than put you to a new unit. So I had actually extended
my term in Vietnam in order to fall under that five month umbrella. When I got to this,
this fort in Washington. Then you get there and I guess we must have stayed right there.
Then the next day they do a final inspection of the guys that are getting early release.
They are basically going home, getting discharged from the army. They stand you up in
formation and they were particularly, they were famous for being in my judgment being
cruel in the sense that they would be insistent upon you having your hair cut really
military cut. And I didn't, I had been out in the field, and I didn't my hair was not as long
as Will's. But it was probably about halfway between what mine and Will's are now.
Which was just outrageous for the army. And so I was, I really didn't want to go home
with a military cut. I was skimmed and everything cause my girlfriend was waiting for
me and all my friends were waiting for me. And we were standing in that formation and
fortunately it was a Special Forces officer who interviewed us. I mean we were all
Special Forces troops, I think I was the only Special Forces troop in that whole
surrounded by a hundred guys being inspected. This guy that was inspecting was a
Special Forces officer, and he went up and down the rows. He finally came to me and
looked me over and looked at my hair and he said 'Where were you stationed, son' and I
said 'Ben Het, Sir.' He looked at me and mourned, 'cause anybody in Special Forces
knew what Ben Het meant. And he passed me by, and I got to go home with my hair. I
was really thankful about that. Yeah it was great. I flew home and my girlfriend met me
at the airport. We drove back to her apartment and it was almost ethereal, we walked in
the door and in three minutes we were making love. It was wonderful; it was one of those
fantastic experiences in your life. It was really dream-like.
Melissa: Did you continue any of those relationships with friends from your service?
Terry: Not really. I tried to but really only two guys. Keep in mind that most of the
people in Special Forces were more career soldiers than young guys, it was not like a
typical Vietnam service. And so there were only two guys that I really tried to stay in
touch with. I wrote them a couple of times. Actually it was kind of a sad story. I didn't
get into it in that story, 'cause it was too elaborated but he was Toby Cleishaw but I
changed his name to Toby Cantor in the story. His name was Toby Cleishaw he lived in
Tyler, Texas. He was probably my closest friend in Vietnam. He had been in Ben Het
with us, and he had really saved my life once for sure. We got close and planned to get
MS 315. Veterans History Project Terry - 13
together. When I get back, after I get settled in a couple later I called his home in Tyler.
His wife answered the phone. He when we were together we talked all the time about his
wife and his child. He came back about five or six months before I did. So I talked to his
wife and as it came out she said well I hate to tell you this but Toby just sort of lefty one
day. When he came back he tried to get a job and tried to work but couldn't do it. He just
couldn't fit in and didn't feel like he could be a proper father and we weren't getting
along and then finally one day he left and last I heard of him he was at Mexico.
Melissa: How did your service and experience affect your life?
Terry: Well, it didn't really have a dramatic effect in my life just like I think it did on
almost everybody that went there. I was I think luckier than most American soldiers that
went over there in the sense that. I think that my experience in Vietnam actually was a
positive experience, it's not one that I would recommend or that I would want to do again
or anything like that. I came out of it a stronger person and a more sensitive person. I
guess the main effect it had on me, first and foremost of all it made me appreciate my life
and made me appreciate being alive and it made me aware of how fragile life is and how
easy it is to lose it. That is a really important lesson that you can't really know it till your
in a situation where you're really worried about survival on a daily basis. The only thing
it did for me was that it made me aware for the first time of, it made me political aware. I
think one of your first questions was what did I think of the war before I went. Before I
went I didn't I really didn't have an opinion. Like I said I was a self absorbed American
kid, who didn't bother to read the newspaper. Now I am very sensitive about it and more
focused on what my country is doing internationally and just most aware politically about
my country and my life, I think for the best. The other thing, the final not the final but the
major thing was that it made me very much aware of other cultures and very appreciative
of more primitive cultures. That was really the first time I had been exposed to really
primitive people, you know I fell in love with them. They were lovely people, and so that
changed my perception of my own world and my perception of myself.
Melissa: How do you feel about the war in Iraq?
Terry: I think it's stupid. It pisses me off.
Melissa: Why?
Terry: I think the whole thing was based upon a lie. I mean, I can go on about this for the
whole interview. I think it's really stupid. First of all, I think it was not in the best interest
of the United States, from a strategic stand point. I think that in the end it's going to turn
into something a lot worst for us. I don't think it's made us safer. I think that George
Bush is playing that it's better to fight the terrorist over there than over here. It's absolute
poppy-cock. What he's done, all the actions he's taken is to increase the anger towards
America throughout the whole Muslim world. I'm sure it would increase the number of
young Muslims that are going to be willing in the future to give their lives to hurt us. Just,
I don't believe that you can stop something like suicidal terrorism by squashing it. You
just can't do it, all you do is create more of it.
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Melissa: We learned through the research of Howard Zinn's A People S History of the
United States that the clash of two ideologies and the reluctance of both sides to
understand the reasons for conflict make the Vietnam War similar to the war in Iraq. Do
you agree with this statement?
Terry: Well, throughout the presidential elections and really leading up to the invasion of
Iraq. The republican administration has emphasized the fact that these are totally
different. Iraq is not like Vietnam. Maybe I should say it's not like Vietnam but I think
that there are more ways that it is like Vietnam. I think that in both cases, in Vietnam it
was mainly a war, it really was not a communist war. It was a war of national liberation.
It was a war of basically wanting to get out from under the thumb of a century of colonial
rule. I don't think that the Americans ever understood it or saw it that way. I think that
much of that sort of that thing is going on in Iraq now. I think that when we see this
resistance going on, on the news every night. These are people that are angry, that were
out fighting the country. And also in a lot of ways, I think that Iraq is more dangerous
than Vietnam. Because at the time of Vietnam, we were fighting North Vietnam which
had a population about 30 million or so but that was right next to Laos with a rarely small
population and a very underdeveloped country. Next door to Thailand was not really a
country, none of these countries had a socio religious cultural hatred of America. That's
when they accepted the Vietnamese. But in the South Vietnamese, so the North
Vietnamese had to basically bring all their weapons down on bicycles and on their backs.
They basically had to carry everything hundreds and hundreds of miles in the South
Vietnam to be in the wage to that war. In Iraq, where in the middle of a country of 25
million people that hate us. None of them there like us, and they don't have to bring any
weapons from any place because they've got enough weapons in place right now to be
able to fight the United Sates. They could rile a war for the next twenty years if they
chose to do so.
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